Dark days, Cold days, Future days
by Godzilla Fan 2012
Summary: He hates this day, always has since that day. But, who says he's not allowed to give her something special? Rated T for Language. A small thing for Valentine's Day.


**I thought I'd do something special for Valentine's Day, and I thought up this little one-shot!**

**Again, like with ****A Victory or Failure?, this is a little taster of what is to come with my upcoming Madoka Magica story. A little tale about my OC, trying so hard to give something special to his**

******Please comment if you think it's good!**

******Disclaimer- I don't own ****Puella Magi Madoka Magica, it all belongs to Studio Shaft. I do, however, own one character, my OC whose myself as a self-insert character.************  
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Dark days, Cold days, Future days

It's a cold day, as it usually is in the early days of a new year. His cheeks are red, as is the tip of his nose. And the skins of his knuckles are becoming are cutting easily as his right hand clenches into a tight fist. His afraid, so afraid that he can feel his stomach form a knot he hasn't ever felt before. But he is Joshua Martin, he should be afraid of anything anymore.

Not after _that day._

In his left hand is a card, an unwritten valentine card, and he's looking at it as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. He can only asked himself: _"why the hell did I buy this?" _

It's February the 14th and as such on this day it's Valentine's Day. He thinks this day is so pointless, especially for people like him. There's nobody, no one he loves. No one he cares for. He's all alone in the world; he always has been since _that day. _And even if there was someone, someone he loved, they would never want to be near him. They would fear him, they would loathe him, and they would hate him because of _that day. _That day when he did that horrible thing, which at the time seemed like the best decision of his life. The worst day of his life. The day his normal life ended, and he became this cold shell of a teen.

_"Why am I even doing this?" _he asks himself without moving his lips.

Of course, he knows why he brought a card. Why he wasted 340 yen (that's about £2.00 in British money, what a rip!) on this bloody card. There's only one human alive he probably gives a damn about, his Ojōsama.

Homura Akemi.

She's probably the only one he care about, and she's perhaps the only person who cares about him. Maybe, hopefully. She's in Mitakihara's main hospital, a big building located in the inner parts of the city and a few miles away from the school. And their future home.

He had called the doctor looking out for her to let her know he would be late seeing her, he said he would gladly do it. Josh hated the bastard, why did it have to take him _six months _to get his Ojōsama healthy again? Well, to the man's credit, at least she was getting better than when he had first met her and it was now only two months till her realise.

_"Then it's straight to school with us, whoopee-fucking-doo."_

Josh continued looking at the card, people were walking past him. None, of course, gave him a glace as no one gives a crap about someone they don't know. He's dressed in his usual garb: his black suit, black trousers, white shirt. Completed all by his black bow tie. He's always loved wearing suits; they make him feel more—classy.

Josh sighed for the umpteenth time, he couldn't feel his toes and his knuckles were burning cold. He's was so afraid, so afraid of what his mistress's reaction would be. Afraid if it would make things weird between them. But he shouldn't be afraid, so why was he?! What was this agonising feeling burning in his heart?

His right hand slowly unclenched itself and rose up to grip on side of the card whilst his left held on to the other. The right went down and the left went up. The card ripped in two. Putting the halves together, he repeated the action and the card became four pieces. Again, now it's eight tiny pieces. His fingers loosened, and the pieces fell out of his hand. He didn't bother looking up to see them fly off into the wind like particles of snow.

Looking up a minute later, that caused his neck to give off _clicking _noises which then caused the boy to roll his head around to lessen the strain but also give off more _clicking_ noises; Josh then looked at his phone. The time was 11:30; he had been standing outside the store for _fifthteen minutes. _Sighing at how pathetic he was, the British boy shoved his hands into his suit pockets and walked off.

He needed to get out of his weather.

* * *

**Later that day, 11:45 PM.**

Night, as the boy learned later, was colder that day.

Still dressed in his suit, Joshua stood outside the hospital his mistress was being held at. His breath coming out as white puffs, Josh stepped onto the first step of the entrance and stopped. Pulling his left hand out of his suit's pocket, the boy glanced down at what had in it. A small chocolate shaped like a heart, wrapped in red wrapping paper and a small bow.

Josh grimaced in annoyance, he hadn't done anything all day since he tore up the card. He had just laid on his bed in the shitty apartment he was currently staying at, watching the sky outside go from light to dark. He had then gotten up, left and brought the chocolate on impulse. Not even looking at the other things the shop had to offer.

"I'm so stupid" the boy finally speaks for what feels like the first time that day. With that said, he walked forward into the building.

However, once he got to the sixth floor of the building (where Homura was being kept) he stopped once more. Josh begun to feel aggravated now, why was he feeling so damn afraid? It was really starting to piss him off. He _shouldn't be afraid!_

Yet he is.

With the use of his willpower, he made it to the room and was met with an adorable sight. There, laying on her bed sleeping peacefully, was his Ojōsama. He then walked in, quietly so he does not wake her, Josh placed the chocolate on the desk next to her bed and stood till. His gaze was full upon the young girl's face, an unreadable expression etched onto his fair face.

The expression then shifted into something readable: one of pain and longing. Ever since _that day,_ Josh has longed believed himself to be unworthy of human compassion and love. He had placed walls around him and had killed off some if not all of his emotions, making him the boy he was now. He was so cold, distant and unapproachable. But then there was Homura, and Josh suddenly found himself feeling again for the strangest of reasons.

Whenever she smiled he felt happy, and whenever she was upset he felt upset and made it his duty to see her happy again.

Josh sighed, this shy little girl really was a strange little thing. Maybe he could steal a sweet moment like this, to savor in the painful years he knew were to come. Josh bent down and brushed off some of the black strands on Homura's forehead and there his lips rested for the briefest of moments.

But then the boy's eyes shot open and he pulled away, his face warp in mortification. "What...what have I done?!" he utters in horror. And then, at that moment when lightning cracked outside the window, Joshua Martin ran.

He runned faster than he had ever runned before, tearing through crowds of people and not stopping to apologise. He ran all the way from the hospital to the apartment, and tripped on the last step that lead to his floor. He didn't bleed, nor did he break anything. He should have, it would have been the perfect excuse for him not to go to the hospital tomorrow.

Get up and walking to his room, Josh slammed the door behind him—and slowly slid down it; his energy sapped. Then he cried, Joshua Martin started crying. He shouldn't cry and he knows it, but he just couldn't help it. He continued sobbing until he fell asleep, sitting by the door.

Josh had no idea that he wasn't the only one suffering at this time, as at that moment, a blonde girl was crying due to her loneliness. A blue haired girl was pissed due to the fact that she had wasted another Valentine to confess her love. In the neighboring city, a redhead watched a happy family with longing. And finally, a pink hair girl just did her homework.

As it was the only thing she usually did.

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**The next day**

Josh woke up feeling like shit as 9:45. He changed into a clearer set of clothes and went to the hospital.

When he walked into Homura's room, he was blessed with a sight he would not forget soon. His Ojōsama, sitting up on her bed, holding the chocolate he had left. He had completely forgotten about them! However, on the girl's cute face was a small blush and smile.

Swallowing his dry throat, the boy coughed lightly and got his mistress's attention. "A-ah, g-good morning, Josh" her voice was always so quiet and timid, and he loved it.

Nodding slightly, Josh said "good morning, Ojōsama" walking into the room, the boy as on the chair beside her bed and said "I'm sorry I didn't come round tomorrow." His tone felt slight sorrow "I was preoccupied by...another matter" why did he pause?!

"It's fine" Homura said, blushing slightly at his apology, "you don't have to visit me every day..." she trailed off as she shifted cutely where she sat.

Feeling his lips give birth to a small smile, the British child then said "I like visiting you, it keeps me sane." And it was true, but of course she didn't know it, she was the only thing that kept him from falling into madness.

Although she blushed brightly and looked away, Josh saw the flattered smile on his Ojōsama's face. He then pointed at her hands "what are those?" he faked ignorance.

Looking at said item, Homura said "I found them when I woke up" her blush was still present "someone my have left then for me." She then looked at him curiously "who do you think gave them to me?" she asked, her eyes alight with wonder behind her red spectacles.

Her gaze caused a warm shiver to run up the boy's spine, but he remained composed and said softly "It's late now, I know, but..." there's heat on his face and he doesn't care. Not now, anyway.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Ojōsama."

Homura Akemi blushed madly and her lips opened slightly, let no words came out. Joshua clenched his fist tightly as the desire to kiss the girl and claim her as his right there and then flashed in his mind. That, and fear. When the girl looked down and her face covered by her hair, the boy asked with worry "is...is it bad?" what a stupid question to ask indeed!

The boy was taken completely off guard then the girl lunged at him and pulled him into a tight embrace, her fist clenching hand fills of the fabric of his suit. He felt his face become alight but happily returned it and wrapped his arms around the frail girl gently. He felt her shoulders shake against his chest after a moment of peace and asked softly "Ojōsama, what's the matter?"

Homura pulled away from him and he saw tears rolled down her eyes, worrying him all the more, "I...I'm sorry" she hiccuped, removing her glasses as she brushed away the tears, "I'm j-just so happy" she murmured out weakly. Before he could question her, she then said "my parent haven't come to see me since the new year started, a-and I haven't spoken to anyone other than you. You know, you're my only friend, Josh." She paused, collecting herself and wiping away the last of her tear, and then resumed talking "it makes me really happy that you've done this, Josh. Really, I mean that" her smile was brighter than the sun.

Josh sat there, dumbstruck. Unsure what to say. But then his eyes begun to sting and he lowered his head until he was facing the floor "that's good" his voice is a harsh choke to how it normally sounds. His whole body begun to shake "I'm very glad to hear that, Ojōsama" he placed a hand over his eyes, feeling the tears break free.

Oh dear, now he's done it. He know the feeling that been bothering him, _"well, Ojōsama, you've melted my heart completely."_

Homura watched him with worry, had she said something wrong? The raven haired girl had never seen the usual quiet boy—cry. Before she could ask, Josh took a deep breath and composed himself. He straightened up and wiped the tears from his eyes. He then, for the first time in a long while, smiled happily at her "I'm very happy to know that, Ojōsama. I'm glad...that you see my as a friend."

Homura smiled in relief. She then unwrapped the chocolate and took a bite out of it, when Josh asked how was it her answer was plain and simple(yet it meant so much to the boy):

"It's good."

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**And there you have it, my second Madoka Magica flic!**

**I hope you all enjoy it! Happy Valentine's Day!**


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